When I’m stocking up for Christmas as though there’s going to be a nuclear war, the least the supermarkets can do is put enough staff on the tills.
Buy-three-get-the-cheapest-free supermarket gift offers are naff. There’s never a third item worth buying.
Get enough bar staff. Thirsty punters need a drink NOW.
Hotels and pubs should be stopped from dishing up lukewarm grey processed turkey at inflated prices for office parties and the annual duty Sunday lunch with Grandma.
You don’t need to take your kids’ stroller into every shop, and if you must, fit it with a bell to stop people falling over it.
Dixiedoll doesn’t give a stuff about Christmas, but I’ll spend a small fortune on catnip mice, turkey treats and jingle bells anyway.
Schools should hold nativity plays at night so parents can get there without taking time off work.
The cards I bought in the post-Christmas sales earlier this year can’t be found, nor the BOGOF wrapping paper.
I’m not interested in festive discounts for vacuum cleaners, leaf blowers or any other big ticket purchase.
What to do with a surfeit of chocolate once the New Year diet begins?
Hangover cures never do.
Think yourself lucky you don’t follow the Julian calendar and have a second Christmas a week later. If so, read and repeat.
The charming picture, above, is from Flickr Commons, and is of St Mary’s School Christmas Pageant 1940, Raleigh, NC, from the Barden Collection. The cat chewing a shoe is from the General Negative Collection, State Archives of North Carolina.